I hope that the title grabbed your attention enough so that you would stop by and read what I have to say. First off, I am no marriage expert. I have, however, been married for 25 years and I have learned a few things along the way. First off I'll tell you there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Every married couple endures periods of trials and tribulations. Handling those difficulties is what helps to give a marriage longevity. Read on for some of my random thoughts I have learned along the way and who knows, you may find that common ground to help your marriage, give you a happier marriage, but not necessarily a perfect marriage.
First of all, be prepared to say you're sorry even when you're not sure what you did wrong. Sometimes in a relationship the other person can get angry or upset with something that you said or did or maybe even something that you didn't say or didn't do but the perception is that you should have done differently. Often times an argument evolves because the other individual does not really know or understand what went wrong. So my advice to you is do your very best to understand, and even when you don't give a meaningful and sincere apology and work really hard to better understand from their perspective.
My second random thought is to recognize misplaced aggravation and allow for the space and the time necessary to work through that period. I know myself I go through moments of being aggravated and the ones closest to me, the ones I love the most bear the brunt of my aggravation. I am not perfect-- I readily admit this-- but I do know that it happens. If you're feeling the brunt of misplaced aggravation do your best to recognize it and not engage. On the flipside if you were the one exhibiting the misplaced aggravation be ready to make up for it in a big way!
My third random thought (and my favorite) would be to kind and loving words and loving touches all day long. Sometimes a sweet text goes a long way. We have so many emoji's that we can use when we're texting we can send really fun messages to our spouses' to keep things fun and light. When your text are filled with pick up milk and are you getting the kids off the bus and others it will quickly take the zing out of the relationship. So make sure throughout the day you were choosing kind and loving words and also sharing loving touches. Start and end every day with a hug and a kiss and then throughout the day and make sure you're getting plenty more hugs and time alone.
My last little tidbit of advice would be to recognize that every situation is temporary. I started off saying all marriages have periods of trials and tribulations. When you recognize that, this period of time is only temporary and there's an opportunity to work through it you will be able to see through to the end and get to a better place. A few years ago my husband and I were doing some serious renovations on our vacation rental. It was an especially difficult time. Because we were both working really hard and trying to accomplish so many tasks in addition to managing our two kids and working full-time jobs. During this time. I had to tell myself over and over this is only temporary this will be done at some point. Now because of that difficult time we endured together, we have a thriving vacation rental business and we reap many rewards. We can look back on that time and recognize that we learned a lot from it and we made it through together.
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